Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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