He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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