Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Farmville is her only friend.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
