she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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