I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
