I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
