she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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