i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i barfeds in our rink
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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