One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
