This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
