Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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