The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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