lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
