can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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