i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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