There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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