she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
