i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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