i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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