Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
