he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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