Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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