I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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