i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize