You were right. It hurts to walk today.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
