you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
