One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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