that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
