He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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