I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
