I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
