"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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