A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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