if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just had sex on a roof
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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