Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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