there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
