i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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