Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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