no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
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I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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