Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
