Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
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Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
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I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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