Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
