why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
