So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
