just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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