um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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