thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
