I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
