Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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