sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
