She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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