Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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