A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
