Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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