idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
