She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
