sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
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