i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
