next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
