i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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