she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
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